And today is when the show ends.


15 - September - 2008

YOU are pissing me off now. Quite abit.

So it's said, people who kill themselves have no pride. Well i'm different and i think thats completely bullshit. People aren't cowards for killing themselves. They are more braver than anyone else. Taking hold of a situation like killing yourself is the biggest decision to ever make and to act upon. So don't say to make its the coards way out when it's the biggest thing to ever decide for yourself.

Yes i'm going to have pride.

I know exactly what im going to do. And how it will leave me. I'll not be covered in sick or bloody. Ill be peaceful.
I've had my hair done.
I've had my nails done.
I've got nice clothes.
I'll look respectable.
I'll show that i have pride.
To everyone.


I just need to say a few things to a few certain people.


That it.
Done.

22/04 Blantely failed.
23/04 Try again. Turn the phone off tonight - no distractions.
24/04 Wishes granted?

I want to be brave enough to try and let myself become free.
The last few attempts i have done i have chickened out because of last time when i tried. I don't want to end up in hospital again - i just want to try, suceed, and be at peace.

There i said it. I want to die. And im going to try and do it. Every night, untill i succeed.
I'm sick of fighting absolutely EVERYTHING.
I'm never going to be thin.
I'm never going to be at my happiest.
I'm never going to be free.


So why am i bothering?
Seriously?
I'm better off dead.

My fucking god. Everything is just fucking triggering at the moment.

Watching This Morning on tv and its on about a mothers children being sexually abused by their dad.

Fucking hell!!!!!!!

i didnt expect that.
not that many people.
i still did it though

i hope ive amde you proud.

even though i know im being a soft shit not being able to go out.....


why cant i be normal. please.

Two lovely songs.

I sit and wait
does an angel contemplate my fate
and do they know
the places where we go
when we´re grey and old
´cos I´ve been told
that salvation lets their wings unfold
so when I’m lying in my bed
thoughts running through my head
and I feel that love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she wont forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

when I’m feeling weak
and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
and I know ill always be blessed with love
and as the feeling grows
she breathes flesh to my bones
and when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she wont forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

Robbie Williams

__________________________________________


Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Bryan Adams

















Lovely songs, lovely lyrics, farewell songs.
My favourite songs.
They are soothing.
Peaceful
Lovely
x

half the bloody thing appears, whats happened to the picture! *grumbles*

[edit = tired of it being half done so gone back again, save the hassle of the bloody thing not working!]
grrrrrrrrr